Please understand
Disclaimer: When you are reading this keep you mind open and think from the perspective presented. Your perspective is not wrong, but just agree to disagree because mine too is not wrong.
Its lynx's bday and god knows how much I looked forward to it. Nothing better celebrating your sister's first night cake cutting ceremony and that's why its more special. And due to some unexpected scenarios it all got delayed. Everyone were disappointed, but nothing matched to my disappointment levels.
And I am a big time jackass to take things in a bit too harsh way. Its either this way or that way. Binary is my most favourite language. But its good for computers, not practical life. So when Sam once said to me I being too straight at times is a blessing in disguise, I knew exactly what she meant. And when I feel disappointed, rather than being manipulative and presenting a better and middle path, I kind of blurt out. And mostly it happens I say things which make things worse. And then the actual point which was being talked upon, gets lost in between. Finally , I have to apologize and the matter goes untalked.
Here is my point. I am not blaming anybody for anything. But if I don't tell it stays in my heart causing more pain and potential future problems. If I tell people take it as something I am accusing them of. I know lynx didn't do it intentionally and I should have given her the present she was looking for. But all I want to get from you is trust. Because all this while, I feel I seem to be losing in significant amounts. And when it happens to such close people, the trust on other relations too goes for a toss.I don't have many of them. Half a dozen I guess and all I think about all of them at this time... Is it possible to happen something like this For others as well????? And slowly slowly it seems to be diminishing ... I don't make friend easily but once made I don't lose easily . And I have nobody to tell but you. And I expect a little audience to my words as well. And that's where I seem to loosing the most. Because when that doesn't happen, without doing any wrong, I am the one saying sorry and saying it all here. Lynx remains exception here. She said sorry too.
Probably when you are reading this lynx, you might want to explain yourselves. But I already have an explanation and we might have discussed this already. What I am saying is I wish I don't have to write anything like this ever and I have at least you to share. I have feelings too. I feel terrible too. I do cry too. I know others have them. I make sure I am not a reason for their bad times. Does others think that way as well???
Please understand...
Its lynx's bday and god knows how much I looked forward to it. Nothing better celebrating your sister's first night cake cutting ceremony and that's why its more special. And due to some unexpected scenarios it all got delayed. Everyone were disappointed, but nothing matched to my disappointment levels.
And I am a big time jackass to take things in a bit too harsh way. Its either this way or that way. Binary is my most favourite language. But its good for computers, not practical life. So when Sam once said to me I being too straight at times is a blessing in disguise, I knew exactly what she meant. And when I feel disappointed, rather than being manipulative and presenting a better and middle path, I kind of blurt out. And mostly it happens I say things which make things worse. And then the actual point which was being talked upon, gets lost in between. Finally , I have to apologize and the matter goes untalked.
Here is my point. I am not blaming anybody for anything. But if I don't tell it stays in my heart causing more pain and potential future problems. If I tell people take it as something I am accusing them of. I know lynx didn't do it intentionally and I should have given her the present she was looking for. But all I want to get from you is trust. Because all this while, I feel I seem to be losing in significant amounts. And when it happens to such close people, the trust on other relations too goes for a toss.I don't have many of them. Half a dozen I guess and all I think about all of them at this time... Is it possible to happen something like this For others as well????? And slowly slowly it seems to be diminishing ... I don't make friend easily but once made I don't lose easily . And I have nobody to tell but you. And I expect a little audience to my words as well. And that's where I seem to loosing the most. Because when that doesn't happen, without doing any wrong, I am the one saying sorry and saying it all here. Lynx remains exception here. She said sorry too.
Probably when you are reading this lynx, you might want to explain yourselves. But I already have an explanation and we might have discussed this already. What I am saying is I wish I don't have to write anything like this ever and I have at least you to share. I have feelings too. I feel terrible too. I do cry too. I know others have them. I make sure I am not a reason for their bad times. Does others think that way as well???
Please understand...
Comments
Post a Comment